is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
