Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
