I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
