And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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