the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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