lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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