What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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