I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
