flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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