The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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