that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
