Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
