things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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