i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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