Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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