I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
