theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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