YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
