thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
