9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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