My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Pants are for mortals
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize