there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
