my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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