they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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