He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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