clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Terrible idea I love it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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