just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
