I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
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