if i can run in heels then i can drive
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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