how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
