as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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