careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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