i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
