dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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