I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
