She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
