is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can't turn off my feet"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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