I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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