don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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