Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
