Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
