highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
