I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
