my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
