what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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