Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
