3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
