Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
