watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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