why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
