I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
