We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
