I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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