We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
