I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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