:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
