just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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