and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
