I think my vagina is haunted
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
