Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish I only lived at night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize