yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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