Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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