But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
