Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
