It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
