Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
