Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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