If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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